There are various reasons why you may not last as long as you would deem enough in bed, ranging from feeling stressed or anxious about your overall sexual performance to conditions like premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, both having their psychological and physical factors.
And while no one expects you to pull an all-nighter (really, no one), you may feel insecure about finishing too soon, even if your partner doesn’t express dissatisfaction. Although there is no precise answer to how long sex should last, the desire to extend your sexual stamina is only natural – fortunately, there are many ways to do so.
Below, you will find several valuable pieces of advice on how to last longer in bed without stressing yourself out. Apart from extending the foreplay and practicing mental distraction during sex, you can also try edging, masturbating beforehand, and using deep belly breathing. However, if any of these issues has become a significant concern for you, you may also want to consider consulting with a sex therapist.
Make Sure You’re Relaxed
Being nervous or anxious about your sexual performance is a very common reason why guys can’t last long in bed. It’s only natural to be worried if you’re inexperienced or having sex with a new partner, but this anxiety can cause you to orgasm too soon. So, the first – and perhaps the most important – step to last longer in bed is to relax.
If you feel that the situation stresses you out too much, you may want to voice your concerns to your partner or take a few minutes to come to your senses.
Masturbate Beforehand
Another thing you can try to last longer in bed is to try masturbating before intercourse with your partner. First of all, masturbating an hour or so before having sex will help you relax and give you more time to become aroused and develop an erection again. Secondly, because your body will be more relaxed, you should have an easier time controlling your ejaculation and, therefore, last longer in bed.
However, don’t think of these solo sessions as an obligation – make sure you enjoy yourself, too. You may even consider introducing sex toys like cock rings or male masturbators, and for something more realistic, you can browse a collection of TPE sex dolls.
Focus on the Foreplay
Though foreplay should be a part of every sexual encounter, many people feel like they have to rush through it so they can get to the “main event.” If you want to last longer in bed, it’s essential that you slow down and really enjoy the foreplay. Take the time to focus on your partner’s body, relax, and connect with your partner mentally.
Practice Mental Distraction
Another common reason you can’t last long in bed is that your might be focusing too much on your own performance or overthinking the whole process in general. It should come as no surprise that you’ll be too stressed or have a difficult time holding off from ejaculating.
Mental distraction is a great way to combat this problem. You should find something to focus on besides sex during intercourse. Maybe it’s counting backward in your head, reciting your grocery list, or even just thinking about which Netflix show to start next. The key here is to distract yourself from the sexual stimulation to relax and last longer.
Edging
Edging is a method many men find very compelling. It works by getting close to orgasm and then pulling back before you actually ejaculate. This helps you learn how to control your orgasmic response and gain better sexual stamina over time.
To perform edging for the first time, you start by masturbating just before you have sex. When you feel like you’re going to orgasm, stop touching yourself and focus on something else that isn’t sexually stimulating (such as reading a book). Wait until you begin to feel aroused again and masturbate again. Repeat this process as many times as you can and see how far you’ve gotten this time.
Although edging may seem like a strange technique, it can give you more control over your body and lead to delayed but even more intense orgasms. As long as you learn how to gain control over your orgasms by practicing edging, you should be able to last longer in bed the next time you have sex.
Breathe Deeply During Sex
Anxiety can often cause you to hold your breath during sex. Focusing on your breathing can help calm your mind and release some of the tension built up during sexual activity. And while it might seem like a silly thing to do, deep belly breathing (or diaphragmatic breathing) can actually help relieve stress and increase blood flow, both of which can help with lasting longer in bed.
Deep belly breathing is one of the best techniques to use. This type of breathing is essentially a form of meditation that you can use to help yourself relax and stay in control during sex. To perform deep belly breathing, you need to take slow, deep breaths and focus on filling your belly with air. When you exhale, push out all of the air from your lungs.
Consider Seeing a Sex Therapist
If you have tried all of the above techniques and still find that you cannot stay aroused for longer, it might be time to see a sex therapist. Seeking treatment from a professional sex specialist can help you find the root cause of your problem. If you’re interested in learning more about sex therapy, contact a local therapist and schedule a visit.
Final Word
The best thing you can do for your sex life is relax and enjoy the experience. Although being nervous about your sexual performance is normal, you shouldn’t let it get in the way of your intimate relationships. Try practicing some of the tips mentioned above to make your sex better and your partner more satisfied.
If you find that you’re unable to last longer in bed, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A sex therapist will help you figure out the initial reason and suggest an effective treatment.
